What to do when your Self-Love is on Shaky Ground

self-love on shaky ground


Self-Love isn’t always easy, in fact, often it can be really hard. Sometimes it can rip you open and make you feel like absolute shit, especially when you give someone else your authority. I know because I’ve been there. It can be so easy to give your authority away and feel like you aren’t good enough. Have you ever let someone talk at you instead of to you and felt like the solid boundaries you had in place for yourself had disappeared?


I get it. It still happens to me sometimes and I am consciously working at this all the time. It’s not meant to be easy all the time, the thing is when you persist the rewards are so rich and full of wisdom for you.

My heart flutters when I think about how far I’ve come. So what do you do when you feel shaky? When you feel like your boundaries have been torn apart? You keep going.


I know, it sounds so easy in theory, and then you try to put it into practice and it feels so hard. A mountain you just can climb, but you can.

When you give someone else authority over your life, you are letting their assessments carry more weight than your own inner wisdom. Is that how you want to run your life?


It’s my current word, the word that I come back to whenever I feel like I’m on shaky ground. I made a promise to myself, I will persist, I’ll give myself as long as I need, a month, a year, maybe two, and it’s paying off.

Allow yourself time and space to persist. If someone knocks you off your horse, come back to you. What do you know to be true? Let your truth be your guide.


Remember who YOU are. Not who you think you should be. Who you actually are. Your favourite style of clothes without societal norms dictating what is fashionable, the kind of music that frees your soul and allows you to dance.

If you waver, show up again. Recently when someone told me what I should be doing, I wavered, I found myself curled up in a ball in tears, I let them flow and as they cascaded down my face I felt the healing. The healing allowed me to gain perspective, and within moments I knew my authority was the only thing that mattered.

I reviewed the facts, collected evidence that supports my inner wisdom, positive feedback from clients, invitations to be an expert speaker at online events. Things that supported what I knew to be true. I wasn’t using these external things to validate, I was using them to support what I already knew in my heart, and then I stood up, and I got on another call, I did another interview, I wrote another post, and I sold another spot. I persisted, and through my own actions, I felt better. I witnessed my own greatness by taking inspired action. I didn’t take massive actions that were out of the ordinary, I took tiny actions, the things I was already doing but felt I could easily stop because I was worried about what people might think.


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Letting other people’s opinions dictate your worth is not worth it. It’s so detrimental to your way of being and it literally affects your nervous system. So don’t let it, instead the next time someone throws their assessments and authority onto you, take a bow, thank them and keep going towards your dreams.

You are so worthy of this, and you know better than anyone where you are heading.

Want support with standing in your self-lovin’ authority? Book a free Discovery Call with me and let’s chat about how I can be there for you.

How are you standing in your decisive authority today? Share in the comments.


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